[Warning: Gore, flying body parts, lame dialogue, plotless plot. Spoilers for Ninja Assassin below.]
#1 – They can heal themselves. And others, should they feel like it. You can only kill them by slicing off key body parts (like their head a la Highlander).
#2 – They are like Nightcrawler and can teleport using shadows.
#3 – They are like Superman and can pick out the heartbeats of those they care about.
#4 – They can tell if your heart is special.
#5 – When you make them mad, they can zoom around so fast, no one can see them. But only when you make them mad. Like by killing females they care about. Because we all know that is why females are put on earth. So they can die and motivate men to accomplish greater things.
#6 – All ninjas speak English. Many speak with an American accent.
#7 – They mutter darkly under their breath as they approach their victim. In English.
#8 – They can smell you.
#9 – They throw shurikens so hard, you can hear the shurikens fly through the air. Like gunfire.
#10 – Their weapons stay sharp always. No matter how many bodies they have sliced into half.
Other facts of life:
#1 – Situs inversus is a great plot device. Use it often.
#2 – Pressing men to your chest so they can hear your heart is romantic.
#3 – If you are Patrick, you are invincible. Everyone can die from a swarm of ninjas attacking but you will remain standing. Unhurt. For no apparent reason.
#4 – The FBI and CIA have the power to walk into EUROPOL and search the offices. Despite EUROPOL being unaccountable to the European parliament or the governments of the EU countries. Clearly America is the boss of the world.
#5 – I hate it when directors think it is cool to use quick cuts or shaky cam in action / dance sequences. I have never been more pleased to see it in use today.
#6 – Having 0% body fat does not make your movie better.